When you find out for the first time you will be a parent there is a range of emotions that you go through. I remember when I found out the first time like it was just yesterday, here is my first journey becoming a mom…
I had been having trouble with my stomach so I was being tested for a gluten intolerance. The night before my doctor’s appointment I told my husband I was feeling weird, he joked that I was pregnant. Neither one of us thought anything of it and went to bed. On my way out the door the next morning to meet with my doctor about recent blood work I suddenly become so nauseous it stopped me in my tracks. The drive to my doctors was filled with deep breaths, lots of gum and the breeze blowing through my window. Thankfully I hadn’t gotten sick and by the time I went to the back I felt fine again. My doctor walks into the little room and was like, “Well your blood work looks great, no problems.” I tell her that’s great but tell her how I was feeling this morning and that I’ve been cramping like crazy. She looks at me for a moment, feels on my abdomen, then sends me to the bathroom for that joyous peeing all over your hand thing. She actually sent me to pee in a cup but well you know how that goes sometimes. The waiting was torturous. It always is when it’s something important. My mind was racing what could it be what could it be? Then I had the, ‘what if I’m pregnant moment?!’ Nah couldn’t be. Could it?!
My doctor walked into the room with her poker face firmly in place. She looked me in the eyes and was like, “You’re pregnant.” The first thing to pop out of my mouth before I could stop it was, “Fuck.” I know she was talking to me but I can’t remember a thing she said to me after that. I remember some of the lady at checkout telling me about making my appointment with the OB. I remember getting in the car and crying and driving in a daze to my husband’s work, I walk in the backdoor to his office and gesture him outside. The first thing he asks is what’s going on? I just blurt it out to him. All he can say is “Are you serious, are you really?!” He is over the moon. It’s not that I’m not happy, I am, and I’m just in complete and utter shock I don’t even know what to say or what to think. Over the years I’ve had issues so I never even really considered the idea of getting pregnant so it was just a huge surprise. We talked more then went our separate ways as he had to get back to work. First thing I did after I left was call my best friend and still in my shocked daze went to her house and talked with her and hang out with her little boy who was only a few months old. Talking helped get me out of my daze and playing with her son helped soothe me. That night my husband and I called our families and shared our news, everyone was thrilled and surprised.
Over the next few weeks the usual happened, nausea, exhaustion, and doctors’ appointments. What wasn’t expected was fainting. Boy that wasn’t a fun one to find out about. I was washing dishes one day and suddenly I started feeling a bit weak, my head was feeling quite strange and my sight was starting to go black around the edges. My nausea kicked up a lot; I ran to my living room and sat on the couch. My head was hurting; I put my head in my hands and slowly sank into the cushions. Nausea being the douche it was decided it wanted to make itself known and it wanted me to know it now. I ran to the bathroom and crumpled to the floor, after that all I knew was darkness.
I don’t know how long I was out for, I was home alone. But as I slowly came to I found myself of the floor of the bathroom in a daze. My head was hurting but in a different way, I had hit it when I fell. Next thing I noticed was that I was sweaty, and not like oh I went for a slight jog kind of sweat. Rivulets of sweat were dripping off of me; it was like I had been in a sauna for days. My eyesight hadn’t come back completely yet and my mind was running slow but I was able to text my husband and tell him something was wrong. I told him what happened and he rushed home from work. I told my mom as well and she met us at the hospital. They did the usual bloodwork and all which came back fine, but there was a male tech that came to check the baby’s heartbeat. I was only ten weeks at the time so the baby was still incredibly small. This guy was all over the place, I kept trying to tell him where to look but he wouldn’t listen. A female tech came in and basically was like, “Move.” She found the heartbeat after several minutes of searching. It was the sweetest relief to hear the whoosh whoosh.
We went for our gender sonogram a ten weeks later, the entire time I’ve been pregnant so far I was like it’s a girl, it’s gonna be a girl wait and see. Sure enough when the tech looked between those legs it was a girl!!! We couldn’t be more excited. Immediately after that appointment we went out to Babies R Us and bought her a pair of sequined red shoes. A few days later we had our gender reveal where we invited all of our families and a select few friends. Everyone had to reach into a bucket and pull out a slip of paper. All the cards said ‘duck’ except one which said ‘goose’. Whoever pulled out goose got to open a box, the box held those pretty red shoes we picked out a few days earlier. My father-in-law ended up being the chosen one to open the box, and the look on his face was one of surprise and excitement. Everyone was thrilled! Several more weeks by and in that time I could feel her movements go from barely there taps to very noticeable kicks. Some days it felt like I would be pregnant forever, never again to roll over in bed, and never again to be able to sneeze without feeling like I would pee myself.
About six months into my pregnancy I had this moment of shit needs to be done and it needed to be done like yesterday to get ready for this baby. My poor husband had a good two weeks of hell from me where I just needed things to be done. It was a mess. We had to rip up carpet, redo the floors, paint the room, put in a ceiling fan, all kinds of stuff. Luckily by the time that was finished it was BABY SHOWER TIMEEEE! My mom, my sisters and a close family friend threw me the best baby shower. It was perfect. We had lots of great food, some fun games, some presents and a lot of fun. I have a thing for ruffle butt items, hence the cake. It was a dream shower.
Now fast forward another weeks, my mom has foot surgery. I’m almost eight months pregnant, she is supposed to be in the delivery room and help me at home the first few days and she can’t even walk right now. Obviously I am freaking out she won’t be there. This is my first baby she is required to be there! That’s what mothers do right?! They are there for their babies when they have babies!! While she is healing I go by her house basically every day. I wasn’t really working by that point; she needed some help doing some stuff for a bit until she can go back to work, plus it just gave us time to chill. We watched old movies and hung out; I took her to doctors’ appointments and physical therapy until she was able to go back to work. It was nice.
So now here we are three days before my due date at the doctor’s office. I was miserable. Nothing fit, I couldn’t sleep, heartburn was a pain in the ass, my back was killing me, I waddled more than a duck and I had to pee. All. The. Time. I am so far beyond over it. Luckily the midwife I saw that day showed me some mercy and stripped my membranes for me. It isn’t a mercy getting it done, because the act of having it done is hell. If you have never had it done, it hurts but boy does it work. The next night we got this show on the road.