For those of you who already understand the title this post is for you…
TTC is short for Trying To Conceive, it means you are actively trying to have a baby (bow chicka wow wow). When I was TTC my second child I went on all the blogs, websites and apps to read up what people had to say. I wasn’t asking for advice so much as I had just wanted to hear other people’s stories. How long it took from the time they started, what their symptoms were, things of that nature. When my daughter was napping I would take a “break” and do some research. Granted that wasn’t always the best idea but it was enlightening none the less. Some of the stories I read were insane while others were perfect with how smooth everything went, like those lucky enough to conceive on the first try.
My husband and I weren’t actively trying to get pregnant with our oldest, but it took two years being off of birth control (my body does not like that stuff one bit). We did the whole “not trying but not preventing” approach. When we were ready for our second child though it was game on! Sure it can be fun for a while, but stress and disappointment set in when month after month nothing happens. I made sure that everything was done so I could attempt pin point the “prime time”. It took a little over six months of actively trying the second time around to conceive our son.
During that time though when TTC I learned a lot about my own body and how it functions. I mean we all know the basics but how much do you actually know about your cycles and what certain things mean? Did you know that your cervical mucus changes throughout your cycle in accordance to how fertile you are? Cause I didn’t. Did you know your cervix changes as well? Nope, I hadn’t known that either! How about that your temperature increases slightly when you are ovulating? Color me surprised! There was an astonishing amount of information out there that I didn’t know about my own body!
I am incredibly in tune with my body and what it needs but every little twinge or ache I was like oh this has to be it! The TTW (two week wait) comes, I pee on a stick and it is basically like, “Nope sorry, try again next month.” The two week wait is the time from when you ovulate to the time that you can take a pregnancy test. At that time the test will be able to catch the trace amounts of the pregnancy hormone hCG in your urine; and it is the longest two weeks of your life. You will literally be watching the clock seeing if it is time to test yet, then you remember you need to stay calm and relaxed because stress doesn’t help anything; it is complete torture.
In all my reading what they didn’t mention was the jealousy that hits you; it feels as though everyone around you is pregnant and you aren’t. It is an awful feeling. Don’t get me wrong you are incredibly happy for those that are pregnant but at the same time you feel, “why can’t that be me?” Every time that I tested there was a glimmer of hope that this would be the month it happened, and every time that it wasn’t it hurt. The first three months when nothing happened it was alright but after month three that’s when disappointment and stress reared its ugly head. Wondering if maybe the timing was off, maybe my hormones were still wonky from having breastfed my first child, would it ever happen again and when plagued my thoughts. Thankfully though around the time the sixth month rolled around my body finally decided it was ready for another baby adventure. Trying to conceive can be an incredibly trying period for anyone, please don’t lose faith. For those that are on that journey in their lives, baby dust to you.