Divorce · Marriage · Relationships

Divorce

My parents divorced when I was eight years old, at the time I didn’t understand what that meant. When you are eight years old all you care about is Barbie’s, playing with your friends, and going to the mall (what else can you do in a small town?). I knew other kids whose parents weren’t together but you never imagine it happening to you.

My parents sat me and my two sisters down on the couch and just said it. I remember my older sister crying and my parents trying to explain what it this divorce would mean for us. At eight years old it’s hard to picture something with that significance happening. I remember feeling devastated, confused and hurt. They made sure all of us knew none of this was our fault and that they still loved each other but this would be better for us. Turns out they were right. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always easy on everyone but my parents were “the best divorced couple ever” as they were deemed several times throughout my life thus far. My siblings and I were never brought into any problems they had, they never argued in front of us, they never talked bad about the other parent, they never used us to send messages to each other, and they always showed a united front. Hell some kids don’t even have that when their parent are together. Every event for school, every birthday, sports games, every holiday they were (and still are) both present. I’m almost twenty-six years old now so they have had a lot of time to practice throughout the years what works for everyone.

I remember some years ago at Christmas my parents were joking around and my dad smooched my mom under the mistletoe. It was a friendly joking around smooch, not romantic or anything but it was still the creepiest, sweetest and grossest thing ever. I don’t remember them being romantic like that much when I was younger so it was weird to see. They have always been friends (they grew up together), and they will hug and stuff but still it is weird thinking about kissing (just like most people I know when they think about their parents being romantic together).

Be that as it may divorce isn’t always hunky-dory. I know people whose parent can’t even stand the sight of each other, and those who were separated from their siblings in custody battles. I know my sisters and I are all incredibly thankful and lucky that my parents weren’t like that. My siblings and I all lived together with my mom during the week and we stayed with my dad on the weekends. It worked out great that way because my dad worked crazy hours (he worked at a hospital and was on call a lot) and was going back to school to get his RN so he was out a lot with that schedule. No matter how busy they got they still made the time for their girls.

Throughout the years they remained in good standing with the in-laws as well. If one of the grandparents needed help they would be there whether it is moving, checking on their well-being, what have you they would help if they could. Even though we are grown they get along just as well as they used to, will still help each other, still talk; like literally all the time (girls can be high maintenance at times, even adult ones alright). Even though divorce changes the dynamic of a family it doesn’t have to end one.

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