Becoming a Mother

To my childhood friend before the birth of your daughter:

We have been friends for as long as I can remember. Although we don’t talk as regularly as we used to I’m thrilled we are still there for the big events in each other’s lives. I can’t believe how soon it will be until your daughter is born!

I want to tell you that you are already a great mother; you are kind, loving, and patient. The moment you found out you were pregnant you became a mother. Even now before she has arrived earth side you have done everything in your power to give her the best start in life. From what you eat, exercising, giving her a safe home to live in, to questioning and researching as much as you can to be prepared to raise her. In a short time she will be here and your life will be turned on end, when she is finally born what I am about to tell you will make complete sense.

Being a mother is an exhausting, thankless, all consuming job. There are no sick days, paid time off or vacations. Being spit up, peed and pooped on are everyday occurrences in motherhood. Finding a sitter on date night can be a marathon all on its own and a night of deep restful sleep will become a memory. Your heart has never felt more crushed until you have heard your child crying out in pain, in sickness, or fear. Worry will become your constant companion. Is she eating enough? Should she wake this often? Is she sick? Is she hurt? Is she happy?

Until becoming a mother you have never known such love, a laugh has never sounded so sweet, and a hug has never warmed you soul more. Having your child tell you they love you will make your heart burst so completely it can’t ever go back to how it was before. Knowing that no matter how old your child grows you will never stop being her mother. Knowing that no matter what she does you will never stop loving her.

There will be days where you feel like you have absolutely no idea what you are doing. Tell you the truth though? No parent knows what they are doing. Kids don’t come with an instruction manual; what worked one day won’t work the next day. At times they can push every last button you have and then some. Every parent is trying to figure it out one day at a time, saying that though is not to discourage you from talking to other parents. Heck sometimes they can be your saving grace! There will always be something new that comes up that you haven’t ever encountered before and they may have some insight on it.

Throughout your pregnancy I’m sure you have received a ton of advice from well-meaning people (myself included), but there is one thing to remember about being a parent. Love your child and the rest will follow.

All my love,

B