When people first become parents they are so thrilled and picture it as this lovely dream. The baby breastfeeds perfectly from the start, they sleep through the night at a week old, they listen when you tell them something the first time (I almost couldn’t get that last one out without laughing, I’m sorry). Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Today I’m going to ask you to wake your brain up and imagine a scene for me…
Imagine you are at a fancy tea party…
There are women in beautiful dresses, huge decked out hats, yummy cucumber sandwiches, linen table cloths, gorgeous center pieces, and teacups sitting in delicate saucers. All those women are all sitting outside in the nice warm sun, conversation flows easily without pause while being able to sip their tea.
Sounds great right?
While it sounds all well and good, I don’t know about you but my tea parties end up feeling a bit like Alice in Wonderland. There is always a dash of Mad Hatter, a Rabbit who is always late, and no one has made the tea; all tea cups are empty. Things are breaking, everyone is always losing their minds, and Alice cannot deal with their mess.
Ah parenthood. It’s a miracle any of us survive it and come out relatively sane.
I use a tea party to get your mind going because about a week ago there was a video circling around online using teacups and saucers. The women was using them to explain how people, especially parents, give so much of themselves to others that there isn’t enough left to take care of their selves. Ask a parent when the last time they did something for their wellbeing was and you might get laughed at. Everyone has heard the expression, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” right?
Imagine you are the tea cup and it is sitting on a saucer, the saucer is those around you such as your friends and family. The tea cup is empty but the saucer is overflowing, everything you had you gave to others. What does that leave you with? What care have you given yourself?
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
What fills up your cup? How can you care for yourself?
Maybe it’s being able to take a long bubble bath twice a week
Maybe your cup needs you to stay physically active and fit
Maybe medication helps buoy you while you fill it back up
THAT IS OKAY
You should never apologize for having to take care of yourself. Your body, soul, and mind are important. They need nourishment. Self-care is important. You are important.
You need to fill your cup up, you need that cup to be overflowing, let it pour over the sides and into the saucer. The women from the video said to pour from your saucer. Do not pour from your cup; that only takes away from you and your needs. Remember: You and your needs are important too.
When your cup is so full that it is overflowing into that saucer, pour from your saucer
Give all the extra that is in your saucer and give to others. Nourish others. Help them grow. Teach and encourage them to fill their cups and to pour from their saucers too.
Self-care doesn’t look the same for everyone and that is absolutely alright. We all have different needs.
Fill your cups.
Pour from your saucers.
May your cups and saucers be plentiful my friends.
Pic 1: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/462181980491906301
Pic 2: https://ew.com/article/2016/07/28/alice-in-wonderland-character-ranking/
Pic 3: https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/overflowing-tea-tea-cup-teapot?sort=mostpopular&mediatype=photography&phrase=overflowing%20tea%20tea%20cup%20teapot